The Providence of God

“This sickness is bigger than this moment, this sickness is bigger than this moment. God is forging something powerful inside of you.” These are the words I had on repeat for the last two plus weeks with my oldest son, Aiden in the ICU at the Hospital as his life was in significant danger.

Amy and I just went through one of the scariest moments in 17 years of marriage and our entire lives. Really long story short, my oldest son Aiden came down with the Flu, Pneumonia, Strep and something called a Pleural Effusion and possibly something else to add to this cocktail. A pleural effusion is where excess liquid gathers in a sac around the lining of your lungs. The normal, healthy person has the equivalent of two teaspoons of fluid in this sac, the doctors pumped over three liters of fluid out of his.

You pray in a different way, when your child’s life is literally hanging in the balance, you cry out in a different way to God when you get to places of desperation like you haven’t been to before.

But praise God, because after two surgeries, countless prayers from around the globe, he is at home resting! Aiden spent a total of 15 days At Advent Health in Downtown Orlando and 13 of those in the Pediatric ICU (PICU), which was awesome by the way. They were incredible. There is a reason they are rated as the #1 Hospital in the state of Florida. We literally didn’t have one bad nurse, doctor or surgeon, and after 15 days and two operations and seemingly countless respiratory and physical therapists, you see a lot of health professionals.

So thankful for every person that texted, called, Facetimed with us or Aiden, those that gave us gifts, sent us Uber Eats, cooked a meal for our family while at home, or served us in some way. Our church family, HighPoint Church, rallied around some relatively new people at the church and made us feel like family.

I literally can’t say thank you enough for those of you that prayed for Aiden in your church services and small groups and at home around your dinner table or by yourself, it literally means the world to us. I think it is safe to say, we had well over one thousand people praying for him in some form or fashion through this whole process. We are SO thankful for those that prayed for him and those that endured my incessant texting.

I’m 100% confident that those prayers resulted in me not making a FB post about us losing our son. I’m not trying to be overly sensational, it was actually that severe. So severe, the Hospital brought in the only Infectious Disease specialist they have to help consult with Aiden, because whatever supervirus he got was so nasty. She doesn’t normally deal with patients that have pneumonia, but they brought her in because the doctors were so concerned about him. If you are a parent or any normal person, that is not what you want to hear. You don’t want to hear the doctor say, we aren’t sure why his body isn’t responding to this antibiotic, we aren’t sure why he isn’t getting better, yet we kept hearing that phrase. If it wasn’t for the supernatural peace of God, I would have been consumed in fear, my wife would have been consumed in fear. It isn’t that we weren’t scared at all, we absolutely were, but every time we got there, God would bring us back to faith. There were moments I could literally feel the Spirit of God rising up inside of me, despite bad news from doctors. It was remarkable. I am so thankful for the power, healing and peace of the Holy Spirit and the prayers of the saints.

We had so many God moments in the Hospital, literally too many for a post. But we got to see God at work and active in this whole process, time and time again. I’m sure they will come out in preaching and stories over the years.

My 14 year old son grew up a lot in the past two weeks. His parents did too. There is a fresh compassion in our hearts for people with health challenges and more eagerness to serve those that have chronic problems.

I can’t wait to see what God does in Aiden’s life as a result of this. It is going to be significant and life altering. Listening to my 14 year old process this has been amazing for Amy and I. What he is hearing from God, his perspective and his attitude has been inspiring to us. He is light years more mature than I was at his age and this is only catapulting him to new heights.

As you think about him and our family, we would appreciate your continued prayers. He lost about 10% of his body weight. He is still very weak, the PT told us it would take about a month and a half for him to come back to full strength and the doctors told us he will still be fighting off pneumonia for several months, it’s hard to know how long till it is gone. Don’t worry, if you are around us or him, he isn’t contagious anymore, the Infectious Disease Dr. reassured us of that, so feel free to shake my hand or give Aiden a hug.

Trials are never about what we are going through alone. That is always a part of what we are going through, but it is also about what God is birthing in us through our trials and challenges. He is always working, regardless of if we see it happening or not. Sometimes your trials are not only for you they are for the people that are going to be transformed by your testimony. Thank God we have an amazing one to tell with Aiden.

To top it all off, many of you over the years have read on this blog about my friend Jason, one of my best, most treasured friendships in my entire life. He passed away in a tragic accident on January 18th, 2013. It shook me, it rocked my world and it happened on my 10 year anniversary with Amy. Seven years later, I still get emotional and I still miss him dearly. To add to this complicated date in my life, my oldest son, Aiden came home from a 15 day Hospital stay where he almost lost his life, on what day? You guessed it, January 18th, 2020 on my 17th Anniversary with my wife. The day I married the woman of my dreams, lost my best friend and brought home my son who almost didn’t make it, all happened on the same day.

The goodness of God is remarkable. Amy and I are overwhelmed with thankfulness. This experience brought our family closer together and it is also working in the hearts of our younger two boys. The love of God is so much of what we needed, we asked for it so many times, to cast out the fear in our hearts. The grace of God, helped us overcome and empowered us to move forward and make difficult decisions and trust Him, when we were scared and emotional.

The providence of God is…..well, it leaves me speechless.

But make no mistake about it, this is all to the glory of Jesus. He did this, He used surgeons and medicine and doctors and nurses, but He did this. He brought Aiden up when doctors couldn’t figure out why He was going down. In the good and the bad, I would never trade my relationship with Jesus for anything. I would never trade serving him for anything, I would never trade surrendering my whole heart to him for anything. God, I’m so glad to be your kid. Thank you God for saving me and allowing me to have more days with my kid. 

Why I Celebrate Covenant and Death Today

Eleven years ago today, Jason Albright, along with some other amazing men, stood next to me as I made a covenant with my wife to live together in marriage no matter what came. Little did I know how much I would need my new bride’s support 10 years from that day, on our tenth anniversary, when Jason Albright was tragically hit by a car and killed, leaving his beautiful bride and his perfect little daughter behind.

Jason was one of those guys that was a friend for life. It didn’t matter that we didn’t live in the same city, it didn’t matter that we didn’t live in the same state, if either one of us needed anything the other would have been there, no questions asked, he was like the biological brother to me that I never had. We talked on the phone all the time and he was a genuine source of encouragement and friendship for me especially in the last few years with all of the high highs and deep lows that come from planting a church.

On January 18th, 2013, he had pulled over to the side of the road trying to heroically help another young lady, whom he didn’t know, who was involved in a scary car accident and having problems. As he was helping her out of her car and tending to her needs to the best of his ability, another car flew through the accident scene and hit Jason and another man. This tragic event took his life. 

In that one moment, Amy & I’s tenth anniversary was completely outweighed by, the absolute, tragic, heart breaking loss of one of my best friends. I just couldn’t believe it, it was completely surreal. You aren’t supposed to die when you are in your early thirties with a great marriage, job, newborn and life. Nothing about it was fair. I cried for weeks, every single day. If I think about it too long now, I’ll start crying again, this blog post is not helping my effort. I can’t even begin to fathom the depths of grief that Jason’s wife felt and feels every day in his absence. I pray for her and their little girl almost every single day still, a year later, and would ask you to do the same.

January 18th will for the rest of my life be a complicated day, but also a day of celebration. I celebrate the goodness of God to me in giving me a partner, a friend, a lover, someone to share life with, and Amy is as good as they come. My wife is a display of the grace of God to me in my life. The reason we can have a great marriage, and take a crazy adventure to go plant a church is because of the resurrection of Christ and His grace towards us. The other reason that I can celebrate today is because of the resurrection of Christ. The hope that I have is not some fairy tale, its not some feel good story, its that Jesus overcame death, even the death of one of my best friends by overcoming the grave and rising again.

Today, more than ever, that resurrection is a declaration, it is a source of hope for me. The resurrection is so amazing that even in Jason’s death, Jesus became more real to me. To be honest, I had never NEEDED the resurrection like I did in that moment. Don’t get me wrong, I NEEDED it theologically, I understood what it meant, I understand that its the crux of Christianity. But that day, I NEEDED the resurrection. I NEEDED it to encourage me and build me up. I NEEDED it to keep me from feeling hopeless and drowning in a sea of questions asking why and being angry at God. I NEEDED it because I NEEDED to see Jason again. My heart still longs for his friendship and encouragement. I NEEDED to hear his infectious laugh again. I NEEDED his encouragement when I am discouraged and fighting for faith in this church planting adventure. As goofy as it may sound to some of you, I NEEDED it to celebrate with Jason when OUR Seminoles won the National Championship a week and a half ago. I NEEDED the resurrection not only theologically, but emotionally and relationally.

Even though many of these celebrations cannot be experienced fully in life right now, they fall into that beautiful gospel truth that we as followers of Christ live in the, “already, but not yet” stage of life. We get to experience God’s grace, glory, love, eternity, etc., but not in their fullness. We still live in a broken world, marred by sin and death. I know that I will get to celebrate and experience all these little things again, with Jason in heaven for eternity. That hope, that truth, makes his loss bearable. I am able to go about my life, celebrating the joys and beauty that God gives me everyday without allowing the sting of his death to make every experience one that I must experience without his friendship, but something that I can authentically celebrate.

The reason I can celebrate today, is because the grace of God, that came through the resurrection of Jesus, has given me a beautiful marriage. The reason I can celebrate today, is because the grace of God, that came through the resurrection of Jesus, has given me the hope, that Jason and I’s story isn’t over, and in fact, it never will be. We get to spend eternity together. You can’t make me a better offer than that.

As the Apostle Paul wrote to the church in Corinth in 1 Corinthians 15:55, quoting the prophet Hosea, “Where, O Death, is your victory? Where O Death, is your sting?” Jesus resurrection removed the finality that up until that point had been death. Because of the resurrection, death is no longer death, its actually a place of birth for followers of Christ. A birth into a new and better life, that Jason is currently experiencing because of his faith in Jesus Christ. Jason’s reality is not a Hallmark card claiming he is in a better place, looking down on us, watching over us. That’s just what people with no hope in Jesus tragically tell themselves to make themselves feel better about the finality of death. Jason’s reality right now is joy and perfection. His reality is his infectious laugh making the other saints laugh, playing practical jokes on Peter and teaching Moses our patented pelvic thrust from our classic youth group song, Pharaoh, Pharaoh. He is reveling, basking and worshipping in the glory of the King of Kings and the Lord of Lords, and I can’t wait to join him when the Lord decides to take me.